Monday, September 28, 2015

The Window of now, then and tomorrow

Windows

I am sitting near the window in a room where I am currently stationed. Stationed as a workingman with the title of consultant for a think tank. The title in itself is quite meaningless. It does not describe at all what I do. I am reading through local notes and official statements from the local government. Trying to figure out where to develop innovative ideas and small shops, which can create some sort of recreational circle of money making.

I have been doing so for a year now and I am no further down the road. Well, I do have an insane knowledge of what is going on in the areas of interest but I am no closer to understanding what I want to end up with.

As Beatles once said it, “I don’t know, I don’t know”.

That is how I feel. To what end do I collect this knowledge and is it even a worthwhile knowledge to collect?

Of course by now I do understand all knowledge is worthwhile to gather. You never really know when it can be useful to sit on. I am constantly reminded of it usefulness while sitting in the right company, but aside of these spare moments. It is just a meaningless space inside my head filled up with small pieces of a bigger puzzle, which I cannot, by my own hands, put together.

Where I am now is a reflection of my choices last year. Choices made doing different encounters with the same guy. A guy who inspired me. Inspired me to take a sort of new direction in my life. New, in the sense of giving me knowledge and an understanding of a different business perspective, which I believe, in a bigger picture, I can use. Sort of, in the sense of being here is equal to getting me a little further down the road of the bigger picture.

Which is why I am currently sitting here by the window in my sort of office writing down me thoughts. Writing them down to make meaning of another encounter I made a few weeks back. The meaning behind my feeling of being trapped by the very same guy, which I went into a meeting with a few nights ago, with the thought of getting him onboard on a project which I have been thinking about for some now.

Feeling trapped because of the way the conversation went and a feeling of being sort of headhunted again. Having the exact feeling I had a little over a year ago, when I first meet the other guy. A feeling of being pulled into a world of dreams, once again. A world where nothing is probably worth the time - if time should be measured in gold.

So where did I take my swing for this direction?


Was it the moment when I first opened up my own company? Or the moment where I decided to take the opposite direction of science – instead started fiddling around with the creative world? Or was it the moment where I picked between a personal life and a life of work?